Wednesday, June 18, 2014

I know something you don't know

Last night I sat amongst friends during bible study and wept. They didn't see me weep. Or at least they pretended they didn't notice, to give me privacy, I think. Or maybe they just aren't surprised anymore. Most had their eyes closed and voices lifted in worship. And so I wept.

This is now the second time where I find myself sitting amongst a group of people I love knowing that I will be all too soon be leaving all their quirks and inside jokes and familiarity. I sat marveling at how each person sang in their own world, making the words matter so much more than they knew. I wept for the love that I had for each person that had slowly crept in these past 6 months. It's funny how quickly love can rush in, yet how long it lasts.

 I wept for the knowledge that they would go on and live their lives without me and be perfectly fine. Sometimes it is healthy to recognize one's own insignificance. That when you leave, the impact stays. The work, done. The season, closed.

I almost told them, as we lazed in happy summer dreams and planned out the next few social months together. I almost told them, as we talked of camping trips, pool parties, and baseball games. But God put me at peace. Nothing needed stirred up here today.

Here friendships have been planted. Here bonds have been made. Here love has inhabited. And my part in it is coming to a close.

One more week. And I will tell them.

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