Making My New Life

I was prepared for a hard time coming back from Paris. When I made the decision to follow my dream to move to Paris, I had subconsciously accepted the fact that life after Paris would likely (excuse my French) suck. If I was cashing in on a dream like Paris now, that basically bankrupted me in terms of dreams-come-true for––well, quite a while. I had set my reentry expectations low. Probably living in my parents' basement for a year, trying to find a job that paid enough to cover my students loans, a job I would by no means enjoy but do because I had to. such was the price I was willing to pay. But who said there was a price to pay for following your dreams anyway? As far as God is concerned, there is no maximum balance in the dream bank. 

So as the finish line crept closer in Paris, thoughts turned to what kind of life I was going to make for myself when I came home. I was starting over, clean slate. I could go anywhere, be anything. Well,  not really. All the big exciting cities were crossed out after one look at the rent rates. (Since when did an apartment cost $3K a month?!) Then I came around to the fact that trying to break into a job market in a new, big city where I had no previous contacts whilst living abroad working a job not related to my field did not exactly highlight me as a feature candidate for any job. And besides all this, I had this nagging feeling I was supposed to go back to Columbus.

Back to Columbus? It did feel like a little bit of a defeat. Going so far and then ending up right back where I started. But one thing I learned in Paris is that the city is only a jumble of buildings without the beating hearts to give it warmth and spirit. The people are really what make a place great. And I know some pretty incredible people in Columbus. So after snacking on some humble pie, I opened myself up to the possibility of moving anywhere, even Columbus. I decided I would pursue all avenues, and follow whichever one seemed to open up to me. The first step was finding a job.

There was a film company I had volunteered with a handful of times before leaving Columbus for Paris. Their talent, creativity, work philosophy––everything sang to me. I had secretly been stalking their website for years waiting for a job opening, but the timing was never right. Then, during my time in Paris, the owner of the company reached out to me because he was planning a surprise anniversary trip with his wife to the world's most romantic city and had read my blog about my travels and favorite spots in Paris. As you know, sharing my City of Lights is a passion, so I was only to eager to answer his request for tips on where to go and what to see in four days in Paris. During their trip there, they asked me to dinner and we enjoyed 6 hours of fine food, wine, and conversation. The natural turn of discussion led to future plans and what I was planning to do next in my career. To make a long story short, months later these discussions turned into a job offer that encompassed everything I described that night in Paris as my dream job. I knew when I returned to the States wherever I worked next I would have to really believe in the company, not just love the job. Somehow I ended up with the luxury of both. I was going to call Columbus home again... but where exactly in Columbus would I call home?

I had found the open house posted on Craigslist a week before coming home, and had immediately messaged Hannah (Italy travel conspirator and now roommate!) about checking it out. It was an adorable little brick townhouse with wood floors and a little backyard garden. Located right in the Short North, the most happening district in Columbus right now, it was a little real estate slice of heaven! Hannah met with the landlords the day of the open house, and gave me a little virtual tour via Facetime (modern technology, right?!). We were approved for the apartment, so long as we could make it in to sign the lease before the landlord couple left for a two week trip to Italy. Shall we call it a sign? And that meant stepping off the plane and speeding off to their neighborhood European cafe to sign the papers. My poor parents, tossed from one uncertainty to the next. Job, check! Apartment, check! One last miracle to go.

After a year of amazing public transportation in Paris, it was like pulling teeth to merge back onto automobile highway. I wanted to walk everywhere, but Google Maps gave me a big fat slap of reality: three hour commute by foot to work. We're not in Europe anymore, Toto. Next option: public transport. Despite there being a direct bus from my front door to the front door of my office,  Columbus' bus system is notoriously inconsistent, unreliable, and not exactly safe. So I was on the hunt for a new car.

A year living on an au pair salary taught me frugality as much as a year living in Paris taught me expensive taste. After zipping through Paris rues all year in a tiny Peuguot, the thought of buying anything bigger than a subcompact car was outlandish. With little money to spare for a car, the options were limited. My real dream car was a Honda Fit: tiny, entertaining handling, and amazing gas mileage. But even the used options were outside my price range. So I scoured Craigslist for the cheapest dependable options I could. I became obsessed. Perhaps because I had no other project to work on at the time. I found a Honda Civic Coup that I really liked, but the seller never called me back. I found a basic of basic Honda Civic Sedan whose handsome owner made a convincing case, but it would have meant an enormous sacrifice of taste (no offense, Angelo). Then there were the two Toyota Yaris's that looked like they had been through gang fights. My hope for a stylish affordable car had died long ago in the dreams junkyard. Then, in the last minute, just days before starting my new job, I found him... a 2007 Honda Fit waiting in a far away town barely visible on a map. In a day he was mine. His name is Francesco, meaning "French" in Italian. He's a little confused between countries, just like me.

I'm now a month into my job, and still in disbelief at how quickly life can change. I still have moments where I'm back in Paris, when I hear French in a movie or the other night when I saw a crane out of the corner of my eye and thought it was my girl Eiffel. But my world is patching up together nicely, and I am happy to say with full conviction, the dream truly never ends.

Bisous, readers!

A Month after Paris

My dear devoted readers, here we are again, another one of those milestone posts. I have been MIA on the blogosphere for a while because I've had a few things going on:

• 2 week train adventure all over Italy (pictures and stories coming, and trust me, they are worth the wait!)
• last days in Paris
• stopover in Iceland on the flight home (Blue Lagoon, anyone?)
• 2 weeks at home putting together my new life
• starting my new job
• moving to a new apartment
• buying a new car
• relearning a new city
• connecting with old friends
• the list could go on and on!

So in summary, here's what's happened these past two weeks!

After amazing adventures with Hannah in Italy and reveling in the last few days with Paris to myself, I finally boarded myself and all 150 lbs of my luggage onto a flight bound for... Iceland! I cashed in on the Icelandair freestopover offer and took a few hours to relax and reset at the Blue Lagoon, a mineral spa nestled into the open air on a bed of lava rock, before continuing my long journey home, which became all the longer when I was not permitted to board my last flight a half hour before takeoff in Toronto. I'm usually pretty calm about things like this, but after 24 hours of travel, lugging around those 150 lbs of luggage all over the enormous YYZ airport, and being refused entrance to see my family whom I hadn't seen for over a year, I was hysterical. Like, the "ugly sobs to the random airport attendant" kind of hysterical. After chasing down multiple airport personnel trying to find help and being misdirected multiple times, I finally located the right people and after two hours, I collapsed in the only available hotel room for miles for a few nights sleep before my rebooked flight early the next morning. 

I was honestly nervous to come back home, most of all nervous to see my family. They are the people who know me the best, and I had just lived the greatest adventure of my life... without them. Sure there were video chats and phone calls, but after such a long time... would our relationships still work the same way?

It seemed a silly kind of fear, especially for anyone who knows my parents, who may be two of the most living, accepting people the world has ever known. But I had it all the same. It's just a reality of coming home, I guess. But as soon as I fell into their arms and touched their faces and heard their voices, I knew: this kind of love does not change with distance or time. It is constant and accepting and gentle and understanding and flexible and firm. It's a love not so very common, unfortunately, but it's the real love we all are seeking. It makes me realize how different my life is because my parents have made learning and inhabiting this love Jesus demonstrated for us their lives' work. Love as a choice and not a feeling. My perspectives and experiences and tastes and clothes and opinions may have changed, but at my core remained something that will always anchor my spirit to theirs: a relationship with Jesus. I don't want to get all preachy, but I'm just trying to be open and share my relief of coming home realizing the security felt in relationships built on such a strong foundation.

I've spent these first weeks back in America taking my time and easing into everything. No big welcome home parties or big reunion bashes. Coming home, I wanted to sneak in the back door, tap people on the shoulder and whisper, "I'm back!" For good reason. The shock has been simultaneously enormous and subtle, most of it happening below the surface so that I'm not even aware of it, but I can feel it. I've lost weight since moving home; I never can eat much when I'm grieving, and I am grieving. The loss of a place and people and an existence so wonderfully free and lovely and magical... and fragile.

When people ask me, do you wish you were still there, I can't really say yes because "there" is a world that no longer exists. I can't go back to my friends or my apartment or my job or my lifestyle because all of these have moved on. The world I loved so much no longer exists, which makes it feel all the more like a dream. I'll always have Paris, but as I learned so deeply in those last few weeks alone in the city, it's the people that make the place. I can't go back to the world I had, so it becomes all the more precious to me. And as I tell everyone my stories from Europe over and over again, and they become immortalized in sepia-colored vignettes, and hang like memories on a wall, I will still have that special place in my heart where the 6th floor sisterhood lives on, in a secret place I will go to visit if ever I am sad, to live again in the year the world was mine. 

But it is surely not the last adventure, for the next has already begun...

"What's Next?"

I've had a lot of people asking me lately about what I'm going to do after my year abroad. In fact, people asked me that the moment I told them I was leaving. It almost felt like they immediately deleted this year from their database, and were wanting to know the next line of code to insert. But I understand, if traveling abroad isn't on your radar, you probably don't really know what to do with news like "Hey, I'm moving to France, see you in a year!" You want to be able to know what's ahead, and feel like you know where you're going. I get it. Me too.

I've learned a lot of things this year, and one of them is how to be there for yourself in the future. You see, up to this point, I've really been living in the now moment. In high school, in college, even my first big girl job. Most of my decisions had a year or less expiration date. I was driven by what I wanted for my life now. And I don't think that's completely wrong. But I can't do that anymore.

See, I want to stay in France. I love France more than I ever dreamed I would. You know when you wake up somewhere and it's like you've been there all the time? You don't have to think about whether you should be there or not, how you got there, how you are going to get out. That's how I think a lot of people wake up, sadly. But in France, it's not that at all. It's like all these parts of me that were strange to the American way of life slip right into their trench coat and ballet flats and peer over Le Monde paper at me like, chérie, what took you so long? I belong in France.

But I also belong in America. My family and friends are there. My heritage is there. The whole foundation of my outlook on life is there. How do you reconcile to completely different beings that coexist but cannot cohabitate? Only until I return home will I know how much the other me was me, and how much I am returning to more of myself, also. The truth is, I knew this could happen when I chose to move abroad. I knew I would fall in love with Europe. And I knew I would have to come back and it would break my heart.

But this is where I get to grow up a little. This is where I get to face facts. Like that last year Paris ranked as the 2nd most expensive city in the world. Or that it is nearly impossible to find a company to sponsor a visa for an American. Or that if you do get that visa, the cost of relocating to a different continent permanently is an enormous expense that you have to provide upfront (security deposit on apartments, bank accounts, medical records, etc). And the truth is–I hate to burst the bubble out there–but the truth is if you want to make a kind of move like that, a permanent move as an American to Europe, you have to have a lot of patience and money. And if you are my age, you have to have family in town or be a trust fund baby. There it is, now you know.

The other option could be to come back as an au pair, or a waitress at a cafe or go back to school at one of the universities here in Paris. And then I have to ask myself, do I want that for myself. To live like a student for another year. To put off what I really want to do for another year. To deny myself the satisfaction of work that speaks directly to my career and calling. And the answer is, no.

I'm ready for the next phase, I'm ready to embrace the life of a young professional. I'm ready to invest myself in my work, to know I am really making a difference with my career, to be surrounded by talented people in my field who can mentor me and mold me so I can do the same down the road. And maybe right now a lot of you are thinking, that's about as realistic as moving to Europe. But there was a time when moving to Paris seemed like a dream, too.

That's not to say I'm giving up on being a world traveler or living for the moment or staying young at heart. Because if I work hard now, it will give me choices later. To move back to France, or Italy, or China if I feel like it. Or not. Maybe I will like it in the States. Who knows?

I know that for me in some ways to go back home after Paris feels like a failure. I imagine all those important people I'd like to impress in my life saying, "You traveled Europe, and now you're settling for this again?" It brings about good questions, though. Am I going home because it's easy? Because I want to? Because I don't have any choice? The truth is, I love Columbus. I wrote a whole post about it when I moved here. But is that my next step, or a step backwards? There is a part of my brain, the big bad career woman, who is telling me that if I don't land a job in a big city like D.C. or San Fran or Chicago, then I'm settling into a lifetime of settling. She is screaming in my face, "IF YOU DON'T MAKE THE JUMP NOW YOU NEVER WILL!!!!"

There is always a good cop to every bad cop. My sweet, insatiable curiosity sidles up beside me, squeezes my hand and whispers, "But what else is out there? Sure you could move back home, but what else could you explore? What other cities could you see? What new subcultures could you discover, languages you could learn, foods you could taste, music you could hear? What about that?"

And then there is the reasonable one, the one with glasses and her button-down and her brown straight hair pulled back in a modest low ponytail. She doesn't look me in the eye when she speaks because she is sure she's right, but she knows I never like what she has to say. It's always just so... realistic. Sigh. But she persists. "Wouldn't it be nice to grow some roots," she says. "Wouldn't it be nice for once to stay put. To be around family and friends. To work with people you know and you know will make you better? Is it so bad to take the more familiar path? Even for a season."

"YEEEEESSSSS!!" scream the good cop and bad cop in unison. And here we go again.

It's the same conversation I have been having most my life. Boastful Ambition, Insatiable Curiosity, and Responsible Reason, always present, always the same lines. My three companions. I can't divorce one of them, they are all a part of me, and to lose one would be like losing an arm. I must balance them with each other. So I continue to reach out in all three directions, and see which direction takes flight this time. Sometimes one wins, sometimes another. (Recently Insatiable Curiosity has been racking up the points.)

Paris will always have my heart. Like a first love. Rarely the one you end up with in the end. But it's a love full of passion and fire and memories that never grow dull. We'll always have Paris, my three amigos. No matter what happens in the future, we'll always have Paris.

So what's next after Paris. Darling, I don't know. But I will find out soon enough. We all will. And in the meanwhile, I'll work hard to find out. And I will work hard to enjoy these last special weeks abroad. And maybe instead of asking me what's next, send me some light and love, and ask me about what is going on now. I'm already talking enough about the future with myself.

I recently redesigned my professional portfolio. Check it out at ruthpayne.weebly.com and pass it on if you know someone who might like it!

Au Pair Paris 101: Letter of Motivation

If you are applying to be an au pair in France, you will be required to submit a motivation letter in French as part of your paperwork to be approved for your visa. It is required that this entire letter be written in French and explain your reasons for wanting to be an au pair in France. Now if you are anything like me, I freaked out a lot when it came to writing a legal document in French... when at the time I really only knew how to order a baguette and say I'm not interested to creepy Frenchmen. So how in the world was I going to write a letter convincing the French government to let me stay in their government and live expense-free?

The motivation letter is not actually as scary as it seems. First of all, they don't expect your French to be perfect, because part of the whole idea of being an au pair in the first place is to go to a different country to learn the language. So don't be afraid of making mistakes. Secondly, the French treasure their culture, and want to know that you will, too. So if you are coming to au pair in Paris, they want you to be interested in the art and museums and food and music––which shouldn't be too hard, right?

When writing your motivation letter, use the formal letter format with the name of your family and their address in the the top left hand corner. Address your letter, "Chérie Famille."

I'm going to have a moment of truth with you. I used Google translate like it was my job to write the next three paragraphs outlining why I was interested in coming to France and why I chose to come as an au pair. I asked my host mom about this, and she said it wasn't a problem, since I was coming to France to learn the language, anyway. So your letter of motivation does not need to be professionally translated.

Some topics you might want to speak to:

• which parts of the French culture interest you
• how you became interested in moving to France
• why you decided to come as an au pair
• why you want to learn the French language
• what past history you have with French culture
• how you will use this experience to help you in the future

Sign the letter "Cordialement" which is "Regards" or "Sincèrement" which is "Sincerely," then your name and contact info. It is likely that your host family will need an electronic copy of the letter, so be sure to email them a copy as well as print one for your visa application. 

Happy writing adventures, mes au pairs futures!

21 Questions to Ask Before You Move to Paris

When you are getting ready to pick up your life and move across seas for a year, it's kind of a good idea to know what you are getting into. A lot of girls are too timid to ask the questions to their host families that in the end could make or break their experience. I was the queen of question-asking (blame it on my journalism background) and my host mom graciously suffered through (thank you!), Keep in mind, some of these questions might be more appropriate to ask the au pair you are replacing if you have her contacts available. And it's best not to go overboard all in one email; space the questions out on a need-to-know basis. You don't want to come off as more of a hassle than a help. That said, here are 21 questions you should ask your host family before moving to Paris:

Schedule:
1. What will (child's name)'s typical schedule be?
2. (If driving to and from school,) what is the drive time? (This will affect your hours.)
3. Does (child's name) have any particular interests in art or reading or music or sports that I can learn about before I come? (Remember you are there for the kids, not just sipping espressos by the Seine.)
4. How often will you (the parents) be out of town for work?
5. Will I go on holidays/vacations with the family?
6. How often will I be taking (child's name) to do things like a museum or a show, etc.? And how do the expenses of those trips get handled?
7. Will I be free to travel on weekends should I choose to do so?

Apartment:
8. Am I free to have guests stay at my apartment (family, fellow APs, etc.)?
9. Does the apartment I will be living in have wifi?
10. Do I need to bring or buy bedding/utensils/toiletries for the apartment?
11. Will I have separate/private access to my apartment?
12. Do you have any photos of the apartment? (A totally reasonable question. This is your home for the next 12 months.)

Money/Benefits:
13. Am I going to be paid in cash or through a bank? (Important to know if you need to open a foreign bank account and how to do that.)
14. How do you handle pay over holidays?
15. If I go over 30 hours in a week, what are the wages for extra hours/babysitting?
16. Will I need to pay for my transportation card/Navigo? (They should pay for a way for you to get around, if they don't, take that extra cost–70€/month–into consideration.)
17. Will your family cover me in health insurance? (They have to as part of French law, but some families will try to skirt by this one.)
18. How much are French classes and how do I register? (If you are paying for them, better to know before so you can budget accordingly because they can be expensive! Mine are 335€ a trimester, and that's the cheapest option.)
19. What will I usually do for breakfast and lunch? (Often you eat dinner with the kids, but you need to know if you are free to eat at the families for the other two meals or if they will give you grocery money.)
20. How will my phone service be handled? (SIM card, internet, carrier costs, etc.)
21. Will you finance my flight to or from my home country? (Some families will, some will say it's out of the question. Don't take offense if it's the latter, this is a new perk that most families haven't heard about yet.)

These may seem like intrusive or blunt questions, but they are things you need to know and part of job anyway... remember, you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Just try to phrase them considerately. Your tone shouldn't be "What are you gonna give me" but instead, "How can we make this work for the both of us?"

I'm so glad I asked all these questions (over a series of several emails) rather than showing up and getting an unhappy surprise or worse, getting in a situation where I was being taken advantage of and could have avoided had I asked in advance. Trust me you will be, too.

Are there any other questions you could add to the list? Any questions you wish you would have asked before you came? Leave them in the comments below!

How to Become an Au Pair in Paris

It's that time of year, when the sun finally escapes the cloudy blanket of winter, and people begin to dream of traveling to far off places. That's how it began for me, anyway. Frustrated with my first job out of college and ridden with wanderlust, I began to research options for traveling the world on the cheap. Of course, it was kind of a joke at first, just wishful thinking. Then wishful thinking turned into obsessive research, which turned into me packing a suitcase and flying to France for a year abroad.

Spring is also the time of year when host families begin to look for their au pair for the next school year, so I thought it would be an appropriate time to do a little FAQ on being an au pair in Paris. I discovered there aren't many resources out there on becoming an au pair, so I hope this post will shed some light on the subject and hopefully inspire some of you to take the big leap of faith and go for it! If you still have more questions about being an au pair, post it in the comments section, and I will answer as best I can!

Note: This article is aimed at Americans looking to au pair in France. If you are European, congratulations! Your life is enormously easier in regards to paperwork and travel. So disregard the bit about consulates and visas.

First, let's start with the obvious: should you be an au pair?

Do you want an immersive cultural experience, or are you just craving a really great vacation? Do you need a change of scene or a change of country? Do you enjoy spending time with children? All important factors to consider before committing to move abroad for a year. An au pair job is not like backpacking around Europe, which is not like cruising through the Mediterranean, which is not like working on an organic farm in Australia. I chose to be an au pair firstly because I wanted to learn French, secondly because I wanted to live abroad as a local, and thirdly because I wanted a regular place to come home to, and regular people to share life with. I have worked with kids throughout my life, and while I'm not planning to make a career of it, I knew I could handle hanging with a few kiddos for a year. Being an au pair is a common and reasonable gap year choice if you've just finished high school or university and aren't quite ready to jump into the "real world" yet or need some time to figure out what to do with that shiny new diploma.

Do you fit the specific legal au pair requirements for your chosen country?

In France, for example, you must be between 18-30 years old. You also must have a basic knowledge of French (kind of...more on this later). And you must have finished at least a high school level education.

How do I find a job?

There are two camps of au pairs: agency and independent. Some au pairs prefer to pay a fee and let an agency find a family for them and handle the paperwork process. Other au pairs (like me) would rather use that agency fee on a trip to (fill in dream country here) and choose to find a family and do the paperwork themselves. Trust me, it's not as daunting as it seems.

Agency options:

www.aupairparis.com

www.goaupair.com

www.interexchange.org

Note: I cannot personally vouch for these agencies, as I did not use them. But they are the most popular amongst my friends here who went through agencies.

Independent websites:

www.aupair-world.net

www.greataupair.com

www.easyaupair.com

Most of my friends and I found our jobs using Aupair World. It was the least dodgy and is the easiest to navigate. Plus lots of great resources to walk you step-by-step through the process. A note on writing your profile: my host mom (who has had 15 au pairs) told me that she never considers anyone whose application is not written in a professional tone. Remember that not only are the French more formal, but these are parents entrusting their children to a foreigner whom they've never met. So make an effort and write your profile with some class.

What kind of job should you look for?

In the au pair world, there is an idea that every job is a triangle of benefits: location, family, and perks. Pick your top two, because getting all three is rare. For me, I knew if I hated my family, the other two wouldn't matter. And I wanted to live in central Paris, not in the suburbs or a small town in France. (Most au pairs who live outside the Preferique--the circle of highway that defines central Paris--make fewer friends and see less of the city then other au pairs.) Lastly, I happened to also get some great perks, but that's what you get with a seasoned au pair family. If you are the family's first au pair, your expectations should be more flexible.

Your ideal job should be along these guidelines: 

One child, age 6-9

Speaking English or French with child, French with parents

Family living in central Paris
**Separate apartment or bedroom with access to a bathroom and kitchen**

Open access to family's apartment

Groceries provided

85€ a week in pocket money

Working only weekday afternoons (4:30-7:30pm) plus the normal full Wednesday (children in France have either a half day or no school on Wednesdays)

Babysitting wage for more than 30 hours a week (10€+/hour)

2 weeks paid vacation for Christmas

1-2 weeks paid vacation in spring and fall

No work on the weekends

**When deciding whether to be a live out or live-in nanny, consider your former or current rooming situation. If you have never lived on your own, living with a family can be a great comfort for living far from home, as well as great practice for speaking in French on a regular basis. If you've already lived on your own, moving back into a family environment may feel too restrictive or cramped. Having a separate apartment will give you the independence you need. From my experience, most au pairs who are finishing high school or are in college prefer live-in situations, and au pairs who are postgrad prefer live-out housing. Again, it's personal preference.**

Other things you should ask if the family pays for:

French classes (required for au pairs, so if they aren't footing the bill, you are, and the classes can get expensive)

Phone plan with Internet

Wifi in apartment

Navigo or independent transportation

Sound too good to be true? I found a job like this, and I know other who have too. You won't get everything on this list, but see how closely you can negotiate. Maybe you babysit one weekend a month, in exchange for Internet on your phone. Always stay flexible, but know what you need and what you don't.

What paperwork do I need?

Right now, you will want to square away all your official documents. Birth certificate, passport, drivers license, school transcript. You won't want to be waiting around for this later on in the process.

Basically there are two essential elements of your au pair application. The au pair contract and the au pair visa. Do not accept an au pair job without signing a contract with the family. Every au pair I know who has started without a contract has gotten royally screwed over. You and your host family must both sign it. Your family then gets this contract registered and approved by the French immigration office. This has to happen before you can apply for your visa.

The au pair visa allows you to work and stay legally in France. You must apply for this in person at your regional French consulate. This requires a dossier (file) of paperwork that isn't too hard to figure out. But it's important to have it all right to make the approval go as quickly as possible. See your specific consulate website for the dossier details.

What's a reasonable timeline for all of this to take place?

April is when host families begin to look for au pairs, and au pairs create profiles with an agency or online. May is for interviewing and drawing up a contract. Since the contract must be signed by hand, copies must be mailed to France with your signature, signed by the host parents, then and signed and stamped by the French immigration office. (Signatures are a big thing in France, apparently.) The contract is then mailed back to you for your visa application. This mailing back and forth could take weeks, so allow the full month of June for this. Next, you need to make an appointment with your regional French consulate in the beginning of July for your visa to definitely get back to you by August. The consulate's policy is 3 weeks, but if there are problems, you will want time to sort it out. Most au pair jobs begin mid-to-late August. Mine didn't begin until September, which gave me time to put in my two weeks at work after I had my approved visa and then have two more weeks to spend moving out of my apartment and spending some last moments with friends and family. Those few extra weeks made the whole process so much easier, so get ahead of the deadline if you can.

How much will it cost?

The question I researched the most and found the fewest answers on. This all sounds great, but what's the bottom line? Here's my best breakdown.

Since you will be living with free room and board and have your weekly pocket money, you will have virtually no living expenses during your time abroad. Sound amazing? It is. But you will also want to go travel and eat fancy French food and buy pretty French clothes and don't get me started on the French flea markets; this might exceed your weekly stipend (okay, it definitely will). So it is wise to have money put away for spending on special trips or celebratory nights out with friends. This totally depends on your spending habits. I personally committed to saving my weekly stipend and using that for all my trips, which usually come out to around 300-400€ per trip (international flight). A nice dinner out in Paris will run you 40€ with three courses and wine. But those are just estimates.

You must pay for your plane ticket to and from your home country. I bought a one-way ticket from Columbus to Paris for $635 in the first week of September from American Airlines. I bought it just a month before I left because I wanted to wait until I had my French visa and my travel rewards credit card. So if you can plan further ahead, you could possibly get an even better deal. Something to consider: baggage fees. I got a great ticket price, but it limited me to one 50 lbs suitcase and a carry-on for moving abroad for a year, or a $100 fee for a single ounce more. So if you will be bringing a lot, choose an airline with a good baggage deal.

You must also pay for your trip to your consulate, which may mean a short plane ride and overnight hotel depending on how far it is. My sister happens to live in Chicago where my regional French consulate is, so... ROAD TRIP! If you aren't so fortunate, plan that expense too.

Then there is the expense of the visa itself, which I believe ran me a solid $150. 

And don't forget the little stuff that adds up, like new luggage, express mailing something to France, stocking up on essentials and foods you will miss, shoes for traveling, etc.

All in all, it might be wise to have a couple thousand dollars laid away to cover the expenses of the entire transition.

Do I have to know French?

The requirements for an aupair in France are that you have a basic working knowledge of French before you work as an au pair. Now I will admit, I didn't have a basic working knowledge; I didn't have any knowledge! I had tried Rosetta Stone, podcasts, phrase books. But I was still limited to bonjour, au revoir, merci, and je suis célibataire. I even met with the French professor of my old university to have him analyze my language skills in case I needed paperwork authorizing my level of French, which he kindly exaggerated was "barely survivable" at best. But there is, in fact, no "proof of language skills" test or anything like that. In fact, the only reason that is a requirement is for the au pair's own sanity as she begins her French courses or speaking with the family (some au pairs only speak French with the family). I found a bilingual family, so the language barrier was no detrimental problem to my time in Paris, despite me having never taken a French language course. 

Won't my career path suffer?

I have so much to say on this that it would require a completely different post, but know that, in brief, spending a year abroad adds incredible worth to your whole personhood. The people who see and recognize that worth are the people you want to work for. And about those people who think you wasted a year, do they really align with your work philosophy anyway? It is becoming ever more common to see a gap year on a resume after university for travel or volunteer work around the world. Don't be afraid to jump off the treadmill. I repeat, DO NOT BE AFRAID.

What will I be missing out on if I go?

You will realize, several times, how everyone's life goes on without you. You will miss weddings and births and deaths. You will miss out on being in those crazy photobooth shots from the Fourth of July party. You will miss out on big national events like the Super Bowl and Voting Day. You will miss out on traditions with family during the holidays. You will miss out on knowing exactly what is going to happen from one day to the next.

What will I be missing out on if I don't go?

You will miss this narrow window of opportunity to see the world while you are young and healthy and free of responsibility. You will miss the chance to learn a new language that will open doors to a whole new group of people worldwide. You will not travel the world so inexpensively ever again (there are tons of benefits for young travelers in Europe under the age of 26). You will not taste weird foods and hear strange sounds that eventually work their way into your daily routine. You will miss the opportunity to see your world and yourself from the outside. You will miss out on having an international posse of friends. But most of all, you will miss out on discovering a new version of yourself you never knew existed, someone waiting on the other side of the gorge, waiting for you to have faith enough to jump, waiting to introduce you to who you were meant to be all along.

(No wait, most importantly, you will miss out on French pastries. Duh.)

I hope this FAQ has been helpful, and I will be adding to it as I receive more of your questions. In closing, this year as an au pair in France has been the best decision I have ever made, and I hope if this opportunity speaks to you, you will not hesitate a moment to seize it.

"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page."

St. Augustine

Happy 6-Month-iversary!

Can you believe it! It's my 6-month-iversary in Paris today!
...Yes, it's a real thing.
... No, the beret is not cutting off circulation to my brain.
It's something to celebrate, people!

Six whole months to the day since I quit my job, got on a plane, and followed my dream to move to Paris! How fast time has flown since I first stepped onto French soil and saw my new host mom waving a "Welcome Ruth!" sign, clad in a glamourous blue Hawaiian jumpsuit and 6-inch heels. I will never forget that moment. It feels like you are tumbling in a free fall, and someone wonderful catches you. Or "someones", as I would discover meeting my new family abroad and some crazy amazing friends.

I will never forget how really "foreign" everything felt, the signs, the buildings, the cars, the trees. My ears felt like they were filled with cotton, and my eyes like they were popping out my head. I will never forget falling asleep that first night after a casual walk to the friendly neighbor Eiffel Tower, wondering what on earth I was doing in Paris, France.

A Different Kind of NYE

No champagne flutes, no flashy dresses. No glittery glasses or lip-rimmed mustaches. No frittering of friends or flickering of fireworks.

This New Year finds me propped against some overstuffed suitcases in an echoing airport, double-checking my boarding times and calculating taxi fares and subway routes home. Sound depressing? Think again. I'm flying home from a 11-day vacation in England to my home in Paris. I couldn't think of a more appropriate way to ring in 2015.

What a difference a year makes.